A Tale of High Adventure - The Bloody Nipple Saga

This is why DMs must railroad. It's a moral imperative.

The introduction for Conan the Barbarian has a speech by Mako (the "wizard" character and narrator), which ends with the line, "Let me tell you a tale of high adventure!" Up to this point in the film, we haven't seen anything like the standard "adventure" in a fantasy game. In fact, for the whole film, nothing is really an "adventure," except for the part where they decide to murder and rob people in a holy tower. There's nothing quite like making war against a deity and his religious zealots to start your "adventure." In the middle of the story.

Honestly, though, I really do love this movie.

I'm continuing the silent panel bit, this time sticking it at the beginning, just to keep you on your toes.

The original version of this script swapped the last lines of Conan and Subotai. I think the current version works better.

Transcript:

Scene: Conan and Subotai talking at a campfire

Conan:What do you want to do?

Subotai:I dunno. What do you want to do?

Conan:I dunno.

Conan and Subotai: { Silently eat. }

Conan:What do you want to do?

DM:Hey. Subotai has knowledge of some of these parts. He's heard about the location of a mountain...

Subotai:I know!

DM:What?

Conan:What?

Subotai:Let's go to a town and rob people!

Conan:Awesome! Then we can murder them!

DM:What was your alignment?

Conan:Let's rob a holy temple!

Subotai:We can murder them, too!