A Hard Day of Shopping - The Bloody Nipple Saga

There's nothing worse than running an adventure that's turned into a pointless excursion for the players to goof off in a make-believe world. Nothing, except for when they also eat your food.

The remark of calling Chris and Michael "ladies" is another instance of referring to men as women. I hear it on occasion where I live. Also, the reference to the "two-bicep discount" is a variation on a "five-finger discount," which is another way of saying "stealing."

The middle pannel with the lizards-on-a-stick robbery was another deleted scene. The vendor with the scorn on his face is the director, John Milius. I commend him on his wise decision to cut his bad acting from the film.

I think this comic marks the most amount of dialog I've stuffed into one. I was still able to pull it in at under a megabyte.

Transcript:

Scene: Conan and Subotai drunkenly walking down a city street at night

Subotai:Can you imagine the look on his face?

Conan:Heh. It'll take a week to get rid of that smell.

DM:*Groan* Well, ladies, I hate to break an exciting adventure, but I have to call it a night.

Conan:Can I have another soda?

DM:I mean you two have to leave.

Subotai:Alright. Can you split up the experience before we leave?

DM:What experience?

Scene: Conan and Subotai shopping

DM:Oh, you mean like when you tried to buy a +5 long sword, and found out they don't have one?

DM:Or when you tried bartering by threatening with your biceps?

Conan:Look how strong I am! Do I get a discount?

DM:Or maybe when you stole those lizards-on-a-stick?

Subotai:I should get x.p. for that. I am a thief.

DM:But Chris, Mr. Fighter here, stole those.

Conan:With my two-bicep discount.

DM:But maybe I can give you experience for knocking-out that camel.

Conan:Really?

DM:That was sarcasm.

Scene: Back to Conan and Subotai walking at night in the city

Subotai:What about role-play x.p.?

DM:The only thing in the manual about negative x.p. is with the undead.

Subotai:There's always next time.

Conan:Undead? Really? Maybe I can dual-class as a cleric!