Solo Adventure - The Bloody Nipple Saga

Without a wizard, the only way to identify a magic item is to use it. NPCs make great guinea pigs.

I spent about a month with this script staring at me, and all I had for the last line was Conan saying, "I say something witty." It wasn't until I composed the images that this joke hit me. If you're wondering what ointment he's talking about, then allow me to direct your attention to chapter 31.

If you, when asked "do you have anything I would buy?" say "no," then you can't call yourself a merchant. Our merchant isn't any different. He isn't doing too badly, though; his child has shoes.

I've always loved this bit of the film, because it lets us clearly see that Arnold is wearing real chainmail here. The lines in the rings run vertically, which allows for easy horizontal compression of the mail (bending your arms inwards), while serving descent protection against downward slashing weapons. It doesn't bend well vertically (it's hard to bend over).

The close-up of the bag of gems came from when Valeria was in bed alone. If you look carefully in the upper-right of the frame in the wide-screen edition, you'll clearly see the bag. For the years I watched this in the pan-and-scan version, it was chopped off.

I like this part of the film - it's bright enough that I don't have to do color correction.

Transcript:

Scene: Conan, mounted on horseback, stands before a traveling merchant, who is driving a wagon, with his family in tow.

DM:Soon after leaving the city, you come across a traveling merchant.

Conan:I ask him if he knows where Dr. Doom's power station is.

DM:Thulsa Doom and his Mountain of Power.

Conan:Yeah. That.

DM:He points East.

Conan:Do you have anything I would buy?

Merchant (DM):What do you have for trade?

Conan:A bag of big, shiny garnets!

Merchant (DM):Ugh! Some adventuring group flooded the market with those a while back. They're as valuable as dirt now.

Conan:Hey! That's not fair!

Merchant (DM):Fair? You try feeding gems to your family and see how far that gets you.

Conan:Fine. What about this necklace? { Holds up the serpent necklace stolen from the Snake Cult Tower.}

DM:He seems visibly struck with fear, and is no longer willing to speak.

Conan:Woah! A necklace of silence vendor! Let's see what happens when I rub that ointment on him.