Pilgrim's Progress - The Bloody Nipple Saga

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Now we come to the main plot of the film: Conan vs. The Hippies!

The "creature type" reference was originally supposed to be a gag based on the gazebo story, but I (thankfully) side-stepped that.

As a rule, I generally don't like to show a character's thoughts. Here, though, it helped get the joke across. I sacrifice my scruples for the sake of bad jokes.

Transcript:

Scene: Conan, mounted on horseback, comes across a group of travelers.

DM:You come across pilgrims on a, well, pilgrimage. They are singing songs and banging tambourines.

Conan:What creature type are they?

DM:Unarmed humans.

Conan:Ah. Hey, guys. Which way to Dr. Doom's mountain?

Pilgrim 1 (DM):To see him you must fill yourself with his love!

Pilgrim 2 (DM):Throw down your sword!

Pilgrim 3 (DM):Return to the earth!

Conan:Hm.

Conan (thinking):A. "Time enough for the earth in its grave!" B. They sound a bit like hippies. C. Wait. "Throw down your sword?" "Return to the earth?" Are they telling me to surrender and die?

Pilgrim 1 (DM):Peace, brother!

DM:Chris?

Conan:Attack the hippies! Conan never surrenders!

Last updated: Sun, 08 Jun 2008 00:37:00 CST

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