Maps Are A Girl's Best Friend - The Bloody Nipple Saga

Sorry for the delay on this one, everybody - there was a problem with the update script.

Tom (playing Valeria) is struggling to retain control of the adventure. None of his arguments make much sense, and he ends up going with a Chewbacca defense.

This comic took me the longest to create by far. I searched around Dragonsfoot for a reasonable map that included caves, but nothing stood out. I finally settled on constructing it myself, based loosely on what we see in the film. I tried to give it that player hand-out look, including areas the DM thought were "not important" for the players to know going into the place.

Transcript:

Scene: Valeria, Conan, and Subotai climb up a rocky hill towards a lit cave.

Valeria:It's a good thing that wizard had a map. { Shown a sloppy, hand-drawn map. } I've charted a path through the caverns that should avoid the most likely patrols, and will lead us to the princess.

Subotai:How do you know where the princess will be?

Valeria:It's marked here on the map. { Zoom in to a part of the map, with the word "Princess!" pointing to a room. }

DM:I didn't erase that? Ah, crap.

Subotai:Why do you get to plan this? Isn't that what the thief does?

Valeria:From what I've heard about the last adventure, it could be better planned by a slug.

Subotai:Hey!

Valeria:Look. I'd like a bit of role-playing that involves more than, "I run here," and, "I hit that." This is what I have.

Subotai:But you're a fighter! I'm a thief!

Valeria:And I agree that it would be nice if we played our assigned classes. However, it seems that the thief acts like a blood-thirsty fighter, the warriors are greedy thieves, and if we keep going this way, we will be slaughtered by an elderly kobald wielding a limp salami.

Subotai:Huh. Good thing that wizard gave us that map.

Valeria:You can go first and check for traps.