Dungeon Crawling - The Bloody Nipple Saga

The only thing worse than being in a dungeon full of traps and no thief, is having a thief in a dungeon without traps, trailed by paranoid players.

Yes, in the previous comic, they had a fully drawn out map. The group isn't using that one, because it's a hand-out for the players; there's no way that it could be in any way accurate. Also, by Subotai's comment, we learn that he's now at seventh level.

I think the jokes here may need a bit of explanation, for those who may miss them all.

Dead Milkmen: Bleach Boys has the hook, "I'm so bored I'm drinking bleach."
Ishtar, one of my top movies for a long while. I even had the songs memorized at one point. Then I realized just how boring it really was.
Checking the ceiling. I had written this bit into the script before Darths & Droids used it, for the same reasons they list in the comments section. I just couldn't bring myself to cut it, though.
No LARPing! Yes, I admit to blatantly stealing this one. It fit too well, and I couldn't help it. But I'll at least give Shamus kudos enough to point you to where you can buy the shirt.

In terms of time to create, this comic put the previous one to shame. It took me a long while to trim this down from about six pages of script down to what you see here. The hand-drawn maps were made with The Gimp, just like the rest of the comic.

Transcript:

Scene: Valeria, Conan, and Subotai climb through the cave entrance to the rear of Thulsa Doom's Mountain of Power.

Valeria:{ A map on graph paper shows the entrance to the cave just barely sketched out. } Alright. Subotai - are there any traps here?

Subotai:Let's see. A thirty-one.

Conan:Good roll!

DM:You don't find any traps here.

Valeria:I think it's safe to move on.

Subotai:{ The same map is shown, but with 6 total squares leading into the cave, 4 squares have green "X", and the middle one has a red "X". The last square is empty. } A fifty.

DM:You don't find any traps.

Conan:Was that a success?

Subotai:I need at most a fourty-nine.

Valeria:But she may be using a modifier.

DM:Maybe.

Valeria:Alright. Let's use a blue pen for this one. If we have time, maybe we'll go back.

Subotai:{ The map is now at 8 squares, with green, red, and blue "X"s, some with circles around them. } Are you really sure there are traps here?

Valeria:We have a thief in our party. There must be a trap.

Subotai:Perhaps, but why would there be a trap here?

Valeria:I expect us to be running full hilt out of here, pulling an unwilling princess in tow, with a full complement of guards hot on our heels. I want to make sure we don't get blasted on the way out by a stupid trap.

Subotai:Does that mean we can move on?

Valeria:Not yet. Check that crevice over there first.

Subotai:{ The map is 9 squares in, but cluttered with scratches and colored marks. } Eighteen. You know, I'm starting to think that I'd rather be drinking bleach, or watching Ishtar.

Valeria:Did you check the ceiling?

DM:<snicker>

Valeria:Hey! What does that mean?

DM:What?

Valeria:You laughed! Subotai! Check the ceiling again!

Subotai:Ninety-eight. No dice.

DM:You don't find any traps. Ha ha ha!

Valeria:Does anyone have an orange pen?

Conan:I'm getting bored, too. Can I waste some time by killing Tom?

DM:You mean Valeria?

Conan:No, I mean Tom.

DM:No LARPing.