It wasn't until I went through this for screen shots that I discovered that the soup bowl causes the main crack in the pillar, which makes it easy for a big hammer to finish the job. The whole pillar falling scene makes much more sense after this.

There doesn't seem to be a thread for this chapter. Check for yourself at the forum for chapters.

Transcript:

Scene: Valeria, Conan, and Subotai are in the Orgy Pit inside Thulsa Doom's Mountain of Power.
DM:The tumbling cauldron is easily avoided by the guards, but it cracks the central pillar.
Valeria:With our luck, it'll be load bearing, trapping us in a burning cave. Is it my turn yet?
DM:Yes.
Valeria:I grab for the princess.
DM:She scratches and tries to run.
Valeria:We don't have time for this. Val slaps her down and ties her up.
Conan:You're hitting a girl?
Valeria:I'm playing one, too. Val pulls the princess by her rope-cuffs back out the cave.
DM:She struggles, and makes it hard to move her.
Princess (DM):Hiss!
Valeria:You're telling me that a teenage girl who's never worked a day in her life is holding back my battle-hardened warrior?
DM:Valeria only has a fourteen strength.
Valeria:Oh, I see. We need Captain Thief to sneak in here, Mr. Roids to carry off the dame, and I get to make plans that everyone ignores.
Subotai:I'm sorry. I can't hear you over your whining.
Conan:I can't help you yet - I'm still killing my way to next level.
Valeria:I hate this game.

Last updated: Sun, 03 Aug 2008 00:30:00 CST

Copyright 2008 matt@groboclown.net

Creative Commons License The text on this site is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License. All the images are copyright by their corresponding owners, who do not sponsor, authorize, or endorse this site. This is a fan-produced parody site.