Chivalry Among Ladies - The Bloody Nipple Saga

It wasn't until I went through this for screen shots that I discovered that the soup bowl causes the main crack in the pillar, which makes it easy for a big hammer to finish the job. The whole pillar falling scene makes much more sense after this.

Transcript:

Scene: Valeria, Conan, and Subotai are in the Orgy Pit inside Thulsa Doom's Mountain of Power.

DM:The tumbling cauldron is easily avoided by the guards, but it cracks the central pillar.

Valeria:With our luck, it'll be load bearing, trapping us in a burning cave. Is it my turn yet?

DM:Yes.

Valeria:I grab for the princess.

DM:She scratches and tries to run.

Valeria:We don't have time for this. Val slaps her down and ties her up.

Conan:You're hitting a girl?

Valeria:I'm playing one, too. Val pulls the princess by her rope-cuffs back out the cave.

DM:She struggles, and makes it hard to move her.

Princess (DM):Hiss!

Valeria:You're telling me that a teenage girl who's never worked a day in her life is holding back my battle-hardened warrior?

DM:Valeria only has a fourteen strength.

Valeria:Oh, I see. We need Captain Thief to sneak in here, Mr. Roids to carry off the dame, and I get to make plans that everyone ignores.

Subotai:I'm sorry. I can't hear you over your whining.

Conan:I can't help you yet - I'm still killing my way to next level.

Valeria:I hate this game.