Prep Work with Swagger - The Bloody Nipple Saga

Scene: Subotai and Conan finish preparing their battlements, while Tom, playing Thulsa Doom, is out for a snack.

Subotai:{ Wearing full armor } That looks about right. We'll only need to cover two entrances.

Conan:And the spike trap is set?

Subotai:Yes, your silly contraption is here. I don't know why you bothered; it'll never work.

Conan:I call it the Spike Master 5000. Patent Pending.

Thulsa Doom:Hey, Sandra, guys. Um...

Subotai:You're back just in time. We're all set to go.

DM:Tom, here's your copy of the map. It's marked with the visible features.

Thulsa Doom:You used hex paper? Well, alright. I'll send in the army. Are we there yet?

DM:Don't you want to scout out the area, or something? Anything?

Thulsa Doom:Nah. They're two wimps against my elite guard. It'll be no sweat.

DM:What's that on your breath? Don't tell me you ate all the bean dip.

Thulsa Doom:Not all of it, but now you're out of rum.