The Bloody Nipple Saga

Chapter 128: All Good Things

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 00:00:00 UT

All good things must come to an end.

Thank you to everyone who's followed the comic, and especially to those who participated in the forums. It's been a long ride for me, but it's not the end. I've been working with the Irregular Web Comic folks on Lightning Made of Owls, so that should keep my comic fingers busy for a while longer.

I should note that, for this last comic, no actors were harmed in the making of this comic. Also, it should go without saying, no one was actually interviewed, either. The screens were from the short Conan Unchained.

Chapter 127: Psychotherapy

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:00:00 UT

The penultimate side joke.

This comic is based on the death of Thulsa Doom, which means it's got the Conan blood and gore in it. If that's acceptable to you, then here's the real comic.

Actual Comic

And if that doesn't interest you, you can always read the transcript.

On a side note, I'll be ending this comic with a power of 2.

Chapter 126: Mostly Dead

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 00:00:00 UT

Continuation of the side jokes.

Yes. This is word-for-word the start of the "Miracle Max" scene from The Princess Bride. I couldn't really do the whole scene, as there wasn't anyone in the Conan film to play the part of Max's wife. The script was written by William Goldman.

In other news, it seems that Hollywood hasn't had enough of Conan. There are distant plans to create a film on Thulsa Doom, of all characters, and a re-visioning of Red Sonja. Of course, when I started this comic, back in March of 2008, there were plans to recreate Conan the Barbarian, too; at least that one was canceled soon into production.

Chapter 125: Play By Play

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 00:00:00 UT

Back when I actively played 1st edition AD&D, I used to say these lines at this part of the film. That may also explain why it isn't that funny to me anymore. I just wanted to share my dorkism with the world.

Chapter 124: Ch. 29-37 Redux

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 00:00:00 UT

This comic is the original scripted version of the "Tower" sequence, chapters 29-37.

I took some shortcuts with this comic (no borders, no colored backing or slanting of the "kick" and "squeek"), and played with the fonts. One issue I've had with the font I had been using (CrimeFighter BB) was that it was wide, making it hard to fit small, ledgible text into a small panel, and the periods look like dashes. In this one I tried out DigitalStrip. It's definitely more ledgible, but I've grown fond of the old CrimeFighter - it seems more natural.

Note that this wasn't a total quick hack job. The tunnel panel is another composite of two frames to stretch it out, and put both characters in the same panel.

Chapter 123: Wishbook 18023 BC

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 00:00:00 UT

During the creation of this comic, I came across an old copy of the Sears Wishbook, cira 18023 BC.

If you want the official Sears catalog, it's here. Most of my inspiration for this came from the website It Came From the 1971 Sears Catalog!

Chapter 122: Best In Life

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 00:00:00 UT

Side joke the first.

"Damn you! That monster took me an hour to write up!" The sweetest words to any player, right next to, "Hold on, let me roll to see how much loot you guys got. Crap."

This has to be the most famous scene from the film. I didn't touch it in the story, but it had to be done. Thanks go out to my friend, David, for his suggestion on this one.

Chapter 121: Epilogue

Fri, 7 Nov 2008 00:00:00 UT

And so ends our story. The comic will run for a few more weeks, as I work through the jokes I've come up with through the months.

Each one of the "endings" is based on something else the actor did.

Arnold Schwarzenegger became Governor of California in a special recall election to replace then-Governor Gray Davis. Not that Arnold was directly responsible for the recall, but, you never know what goes on behind closed doors.
Gerry "Mr. Pipeline" Lopez is, without a doubt, one of the most well known surfers in the world. From his Wikipedia article, "As he is in Hawaii and around the globe, Lopez is revered as a legend in Indonesia where he has mentored many young local surfers." I can't say he has a life of leisure, but it sure beats office work.
James Earl Jones - what can I say about one of the best actors and voice-over artists in the industry? This was the best non-Conan image I could find that seemed to have at least a bit of relevance to the story. This one is kind of a shame, really, considering all of his diverse roles he's done. This image is from Cry, the Beloved Country.
Max von Sydow played Emperor Ming in Flash Gordon, among countless other roles. Technically, Flash Gordon came out before Conan (1980 vs. 1982), but, hey, it's Ming.
Mako passed away in 2006. He did the voice of Aku in Samurai Jack (which was heavily based upon Frank Miller's Ronin, but that's a different topic). We finally learn his character's name in the second Conan movie: Akiro.

I didn't mention Sandahl Bergman, because her character died in the story. Although, I already made a passing reference to her role in Xanadu.

And, yes, I did leave the ending open to a question. If you have other suggestions for other comics, I'd be glad to hear them. Feel free to send me an e-mail (it's at the bottom of every page on this site), or post it on this forum topic.

Chapter 120: Dinner

Wed, 5 Nov 2008 00:00:00 UT

And so the main story ends. No, it's not the end of the strip; I've got some "DVD Extras" and an Epilogue to follow. What - did you expect to see Thulsa Doom die? There's no way I'd show that graphic detail in this comic.

I'm still trying to figure out why Doom goes to his religious followers and tries to make them take over the world at this point. All his elite guards are dead, so any army won't be very effective. I can only assume he's just so flustered with anger, that he's pulling out his final "big plan," since nothing else has worked. All those years of preparation and planning gone to waste because of three thieves.

The film doesn't realy climax at the end. It just sort of ends. Yes, everything is tied up, but it just doesn't have that oomph that we come to expect in modern films. Then again, it really has a Howard Conan feel, because of this. That's why I ended it with the characters not really caring; the film feels that way, too.

And what happened to Subotai at the end of the film? First, we barely see his face during the battle scene, then he's just flat-out ignored at the end. Did he go and live with the Wizard in an alternative lifestyle relationship? I almost broke a rule of mine by breaking the fourth wall, with Michael (Subotai) adding that, "I didn't get to do much, and, at the end, I was only used to add snarky comments." He still gets the last word, though.

If you didn't get it, Tom is buying dinner for everyone, since he ruined their evening the previous day. That's why he's encouraging everyone to eat more of the complimentary bread, so they will be too full to order anything that costs money. While I'm over-explaining the jokes, Michael refers to Elmo from Sesame Street.

In this comic, we see bits from the "special edition" of the DVD, where Conan is with the princess at the end. That may be why you don't recognize the scenes.

Oh, and, yes, most of the "cartoon" is recycled. It was my longest comic yet, and I was running out of time.