Dinner - The Bloody Nipple Saga

And so the main story ends. No, it's not the end of the strip; I've got some "DVD Extras" and an Epilogue to follow. What - did you expect to see Thulsa Doom die? There's no way I'd show that graphic detail in this comic.

I'm still trying to figure out why Doom goes to his religious followers and tries to make them take over the world at this point. All his elite guards are dead, so any army won't be very effective. I can only assume he's just so flustered with anger, that he's pulling out his final "big plan," since nothing else has worked. All those years of preparation and planning gone to waste because of three thieves.

The film doesn't realy climax at the end. It just sort of ends. Yes, everything is tied up, but it just doesn't have that oomph that we come to expect in modern films. Then again, it really has a Howard Conan feel, because of this. That's why I ended it with the characters not really caring; the film feels that way, too.

And what happened to Subotai at the end of the film? First, we barely see his face during the battle scene, then he's just flat-out ignored at the end. Did he go and live with the Wizard in an alternative lifestyle relationship? I almost broke a rule of mine by breaking the fourth wall, with Michael (Subotai) adding that, "I didn't get to do much, and, at the end, I was only used to add snarky comments." He still gets the last word, though.

If you didn't get it, Tom is buying dinner for everyone, since he ruined their evening the previous day. That's why he's encouraging everyone to eat more of the complimentary bread, so they will be too full to order anything that costs money. While I'm over-explaining the jokes, Michael refers to Elmo from Sesame Street.

In this comic, we see bits from the "special edition" of the DVD, where Conan is with the princess at the end. That may be why you don't recognize the scenes.

Oh, and, yes, most of the "cartoon" is recycled. It was my longest comic yet, and I was running out of time.

Transcript:

Scene: Sandra, Tom, Chris, and Michael are sitting in a fancy restaraunt eating dinner. They all have two forks and two glasses, one for water and one for wine, save for Tom, who has a glass of milk.

Sandra:Most of my material is gone now. I guess the adventure's over.

Chris:I still have Conan!

Michael:I really don't want to play anymore. I didn't get to do much, anyway. And, thanks, Tom, for dinner.

Tom:Yeah. Eat more of the bread before you order.

Chris:Can we finish the adventure now?

Sandra:We don't have anything here for it.

Chris:We don't need dice for it or anything else. Just our imagination.

Michael:News flash, Elmo - I'm not six.

Scene: Conan at the battle field, watching Thulsa Doom.

DM:Oh, fine. But this is the last one.

Conan:I chase after Doom! He won't escape alive!

Thulsa Doom:Doom goes back to his love palace,

Scene: Thulsa Doom, at night, looking over thousands of followers, all holding candles.

Thulsa Doom:and sends his gathered followers into a religious rage.

DM:They wouldn't do that.

Thulsa Doom:It's not like this really matters. Anyway, they'd be an army of zero level fighters.

DM:Whatever.

Scene: Subotai, in a tavern, with a woman on his lap.

Subotai:Subotai goes whoring.

Scene: Conan inside Thulsa Doom's Temple.

Conan:I sneak into the Temple of Doom.

DM:You're not a thief - you could easily get caught.

Conan:I use the princess to lead me there.

Thulsa Doom:Oh, why not. Do the guards take him out? Doom's well protected in his temple.

Conan:I don't go after Doom. { Standing outside the temple, holding hands with the princess. } I start a fire in the temple.

Scene: Back at the dinner table

Michael:The place burns down. The end. Can we order now?